IMPROV IMPROV IMPROV

mi escuela

The first days of class have taught me to be accepting of failure, because failure brings progress. What stops improvement is the fear to try at all. In my Spanish classes at mi universidad en los estados I was afraid to be wrong. I didn’t like to volunteer in class, and most of the time it was relatively easy to get skipped over or hide in the back of a 30 person classroom. Here my class is a third of the size and IMPROV IMPROV IMPROV is what we do 4 hours a day. During improvisation you’re going to mess up, use the wrong verb, forget a word, say something the opposite of what you want, but while learning a new language there’s no greater reality than that. 

The first day of class this was scary to me, I despise classes where I’m given the opportunity to make a fool out of myself in front of my peers, especially when there’s a chance I wont even understand the question. This is why improv is beautiful, its raw, its your brain reacting immediately, there is no time to look up phrases or check pronunciations, its what you know. It's becoming obvious that I never give myself enough credit. During dinner if I’m relaxed and confident and listen to the conversation and questions my host family is asking me I understand them clearly; when I focus on the fact that they’re speaking Spanish and rush to translate everything in my head while simultaneously feeling the need to impress is when the error arises. I know what they’re saying without bringing it back into English, its so difficult to explain other than to say its just a second nature reaction (..I'm only level four so maybe take second nature down to like 3rd nature). This is comparable to when I easily agree with “sí” “claro” or “vale” instead of saying “yes” “of course” or “ok”. Its like my brain is switching language modes and there’s only trouble when I try to force the change, or stress over an understanding. 

When someone is speaking to you in English its not like you’re focusing on trying to make sense of each and every word the person is saying, your mind is just capturing the idea and feeling of the statements. That’s how it is in Spanish for me as well, but sometimes I catch myself trying to analyze and understand every word instead of the idea. I know I just need time to improve, but I’m always so impressed with myself and happy when I listen to Spanish as I listen to English.

**apologies if none of this made any sense at all.